Postscript

I’ve never thought of myself as a very materialistic person, but when we had to reduce our lives to a 5 x10 storage unit and eight, 50 lb checked bags to take with us to our new home in Africa, I was suddenly faced with anxiety about getting rid of stuff.

In the months that proceeded us moving out of our three bedroom house, I really struggled with releasing the things that I’d accumulated over the course of my life to that point.  I guess I always had a “keep it, you might need it someday” attitude.  And, although we didn’t live extravagantly and our house wasn’t overflowing useless stuff, we still had more than we really needed.

I struggled to find ways to thin our household.  Jeff and I both had completely different approaches to doing this, which led to inevitable conflicts.  Yard sales, Craig’s List sales, sales to co-workers, and lots of giving away… in the end somehow we did it…and we still love each other!

And, to top things off, at the same time we both we left our regular salaries at that point to live on the road in hopes that we’d raise enough regular income through gifts to our ministry to sustain us while we were in the US and give us a living income when we went abroad as missionaries with Wycliffe.

Honestly, it often felt like we were living somewhere between something extremely exciting and something insane and completely irrational.  Some days I thought, “yes, this is possible!”.  While other days I moped around wondering why we ever started down this path.

That was just the beginning of what God has used as part of a cleansing process for me to help me to come to a better understanding of how He views our stuff and our money.  The truth is, my view of my stuff and my money were rooted in two beliefs I had deep down: 1) I own what I have, 2) I’m in charge of taking care of myself.

God’s truth is that he owns everything (Psalm 50). Jesus (Mathew 25:10-30) and David (1 Chronicles 29:11-14) describe our role as stewards of God’s stuff.  And, Jesus and Paul teach that God will take care of us and all our needs (Matthew 6:25-34; Phil 4:19).

I’ve known this all in my head for a long time and would have told you that was what I believed.  But, when I was confronted with this experience, my true beliefs came out.  Thankfully, God uses experiences to change those deep down beliefs in our hearts.

When we reached our new home in Kenya, I set up a household, and then turned around and sold most of it a year and seven months later, minus seven checked bags, before we reached our home where we live now.  It was easier to sell things and give things away then, maybe because I hadn’t had much of it for very long…but I’d like to think it was also because I’d grown a little.

And, as far as being taken care of, I’m continually amazed at how God has provided for us.  Every month when we get our ministry statement I’m in awe of how God has raised up people and churches who faithfully give to our ministry.  What seemed impossible, he has proved over and over is possible. And, beyond that…I see how God has unfolded an amazing experience for us these last few years, demonstrating his loving care for our needs and desires, while giving us ways to serve him and grow in him.

I’m certain I have a lifetime of lessons to learn in this area, but God is teaching me. He is teaching me look at the things I use differently, to be more generous, to have more contentment with what he provides, and to be more confident in his ability to take care of us.

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